The Amazing Amanda

My sister-in-law is exceptionally fabulous. Like, I really don’t know how my brother managed to pull this whole thing off. Anyhoo, I thought I’d give you a glimpse into our relationship and why I love her via the text exchange we had a couple of days ago:

A: Stay safe!!

Me: Oh Christ. Is it dinosaurs?! I freaking knew there’d be dinosaurs!!

A: You are insane. And hysterical. Isn’t San Antonio somewhere kind of near you? And everyone at work is in to your toner now.

Me: Yes, I’m not watching the news though, so I’m getting a little nervous. If it’s the flooding, we’re good. If it’s dinosaurs, I have no plan in place.

A: It is the tornados I was a little concerned about, lady.

Me: OH CRAP! I better turn on the TV…

A: Legit.

Me: Awesome about the toner, BTW. Gotta go grab a mattress to hide under now.

A: Maybe you can make dinosaur repellent next.

Me: We’re so sure our product works, we’ll give you a million dollars if a T-Rex ever shows up after using our patented Granola Goat Dinosaur Repellent Spray!! Now available in a handy 32 ounce size.

Call me Moonsong.

I was telling my husband that when I become a famous skin care mogul and animal activist we’re going to have to change our daughter’s name to Fawn, and I’ll be Moonsong (because these are the kinds of things you think about, right?).

Him: Excuse me?

Me: Don’t worry, you can be Odin, or Thor, or Perriwinkle. Whatever you want.

All I Want…

I saw this in a PB Kids mailer today:

 
And I was immediately like:

Leaping Bunny

I cannot hardly contain how proud I am to be on this list!

Leaping Bunny Brands

Squeee!!!

Dr. Frank-N-Furter

My jack-o-lantern from last year. I pretty much don’t ever need to carve another one again. I’ll never top the doc:

IMG_1649

FREE SAMPLES

Free samples of ‘The Amazing Face Serum’ are going out to 100 lucky people! Convo me on Etsy to get yours!

The Amazing Face on Etsy

Insane with the foot pain…

I’ve been having some foot pain for a while – like several months. I thought it was plantar fasciitis, so I waited for it to subside, but it started getting worse instead. And there was swelling, which was a new development. So I finally went to the ortho and they discovered a huge bone spur in my heel. I was feeling it because I have a case of Achilles bursitis, so the spur has been fraying my tendon with every step. The cure is easy enough – get the swelling down and stop the spur from digging in. The method is not something I was happy about – oral steroids. I warned my family that I might be a little cranky/aggressive/mean for the next 12 days. Here’s what happened on day one:

My extremely patient husband: Honey, can you come help me lift this box?

Me: Why? Are you a 12 year old girl? Are you afraid if you bend over and exert a little effort you’ll toot out all your glitter and lose your magic?

My extremely patient husband: Have you ever considered a career as a Drill Sargent?

Me: It’s the steroids! Leave me alone!